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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Big Ten New Pledge Meeting


Jim Delany stands next to an overhead projector:


JIM DELANY: Nebraska Cornhuskers.

A picture pops on the screen:


JIM DELANY:  All in favor?

Murmurs of agreement from the current Big Ten members.


PURDUE: We need the dues.


JIM DELANY: Good.  Nebraska is now a pledge to the Big Ten.  Next slide, please.


As Maryland's picture comes up: 


Boos, screams and looks of horror fill the room.


JIM DELANY: Just a minute!  Just a minute!  This is Maryland.  He's a legacy from the ACC.


More boos and shouts of disagreement.

Michigan AD Dave Brandon glances at OSU AD Gene Smith sitting next to him.


Straightening his "legacy v-neck sweater," Brandon stands and addresses the others:


DAVE BRANDON:  Okay, Maryland is a real loser.  That's true.  But let's just think back to when you guys got accepted to the Big Ten.


DAVE BRANDON: Sparty, you had an academic reputation just this side of Eastern Michigan.  And Ohio State here, everybody thought that the Buckeyes were brain damaged.  I myself was so superior, I asked Minnesota to play for a trophy in a rivalry game then beat them like 70 out of the first 75 times we played.  So Maryland is a total loser?  Let me tell you the story of another loser...


They all start throwing beer cans at Brandon.

(HT: phil for the awesome idea!)

3 comments:

surrounded in columbus said...

you know what they got in Maryland? awesome seafood. it should be fun to go there once every 5 or so seasons & enjoy the menu (when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade; when jim delaney gives you maryland, you go out for crabcakes).

Mikoyan said...

Mmmmm...crabcakes.

Adam said...

This was awesome. Great work!