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Sunday, November 07, 2010

Following Embarrassing Buff Defeat, Pac-10 Breaks Up With Colorado

(from MZone wire reports) Walnut Creek, CA - Following Colorado's embarrassing 52-45 loss to Kansas, in which the Buffs blew a 45-17 fourth quarter lead as Kansas scored 35 unanswered points in the final 11 minutes, the Pac-10 conference has broken up with Colorado.

And thanks to MZikileaks, the MZone has obtained an exclusive transcript of the conversation ending their short relationship.

Ring.  Ring.  Ri--

That's not a tear on my head!  It's a horn!
CU:  Hello?
PAC-10:  Hey, what's up?
CU:  Oh, nothing.
PAC-10: Tough day?
CU: Did you not see the game?
PAC-10: Of course I did.
CU: Then you know it was a tough day. Okay?
PAC-10: I'm sorry.
CU: Look, can we just not talk about it?
PAC-10: Actually, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about?
CU: Can we talk about it tomorrow?
PAC-10: Uh, it kinda can't wait.
CU: What?
PAC-10: This is really hard for me so I'm just gonna say it - I'm not happy with us and I want to see other schools?
CU: Are you serious?

THE PAC-10 DOESN'T ANSWER.

CU: Holy shit, you're serious.
PAC-10: Look, it's not you. It's me. We're just...different.
CU: Is it because of the loss?
PAC-10: Which one?
CU: Okay, that was a low fucking blow!
PAC-10: I think I should go now.
CU: Wait. Wait! I didn't mean that. I'm sorry.
PAC-10: I'm sure you'll find someone that's better for you. That'll make you happy.
CU (starting to cry): Don't say that. I want to be with you. Only you.
PAC-10: You say that now. But it's best for both of us.
CU: I can change. Honest. Dan Hawkins? He's gone. Fucking gone. Things'll be different next year.
PAC-10: Please don't cry.
CU (through sobs): I'm...not...crying.  Do you hear me?  I'm not.

UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING CAN BE HEARD.

PAC-10: Are you going to be okay?
CU: Ye-ye-ye-----yes.
PAC-10: Good.  Because you're a great school.  You really are.
CU: Wait - are you going to change your Facebook status?
PAC-10: Colorado, please don't make this harder than it already is, okay?
CU: It's just--

MORE CRYING.

PAC-10:  Okay, I have to go now.  I'll call you in a couple days and we can talk about when's a good time for me to come over and get my stuff back.  Bye.

CLICK!

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