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Monday, July 31, 2006

Why We Miss College Football

Showing a much better side of Texas than the deposition above, saw this on Burnt Orange Nation and we'd be derelict in our duty if we didn't share it with our readers.

Peter, who runs BON, claims he came across this picture when he Googled "Longhorns tailgate." But as one of his readers said in the comment section, "You must have accidentally typed in 'Longhorns tail.'"


P.S. Not that we didn't trust Peter, but we Googled it as well and indeed find this picture. Very impressive, 'Horns. Very impressive. Trust me, you don't get pictures like this when you Google "Michigan tailgate."

Benny, when are we gonna roadtrip to Austin? I'm just sayin'.

Brian of MGoBlog Makes Day 2 of WSOP

Brian at MGoBlog, who won his way into the World Series of Poker Main Event, survived the first day of his "quarter" and has advanced to Day #2 on Tuesday. This was no small feat as he had over 2,000 folks in his section alone and had to finish in the top 800 to advance.

While that might sound "easy," folks who didn't make it to day #2 include poker legends such as Doyle Brunson and Phil Hellmuth. In addition, Brian also lasted longer than porn star Ron Jeremy who was at the table next to him. Not many guys can say they lasted longer than Ron Jeremy so that is a victory in itself.

Going into Tuesday, Brian has increased his chipstack from the beginning 10,000 chips to 15K.

Good luck, Brian!

Tyson Gentry Doing Better

Saw an update on Buckeye Commentary regarding Ohio State receiver Tyson Gentry, who broke his neck spring practice. Right after the injury, Gentry was unable to move his arms and legs. But, he has regained movement in his arms and has feeling now in much of his body. He's working toward his ultimate goal of walking again.

While we give our rivals in Ohio a lot of grief, this is one time we're 100% in agreement in hoping Gentry continues to recover, reaching his goal and more.

Weekend Quick Hitters

Many times, we simply can't get around to all the good reader tips and suggestions sent our way during the week. So, while I had a few minutes this weekend, wanted to pass on some things we received recently. Enjoy.

* Eddie Van Halen has some new music "coming" out but, unless you're 18+, you won't be able to "listen" to it. Turns out ol' Ed is writing and and performing two songs for a porn flick called "Sacred Sin." According to the story, VH is friends with the director whom he calls "like a Spielberg."

Uh, yeah, right. I guess Eddie's pal must have directed "Schindler's Fist" or "Jurrasic Pork."

(HT: The Wiz)

* The Wiz also tipped us off to a great Slate article about the bullshit vote in Congress to ban Internet gambling...while making exceptions for online betting on horse racing and state lotteries due to their influential lobbyists.

* Is Michael Vick getting baked? You be the judge.

(HT: Deadspin as well as getting a heads-up from MZone reader Mike)

* In a salute to sarcasm at its finest, MZone reader Fritz sends us a dandy. The letter linked here was sent by an Aggie fan to Big 12 Commish Kevin Weiberg in response to his decision to force schools to move their bands from behind the visitors' bench starting in 2007.

* Given the love of Tosu fans for the word "fuck" (and more specifically, "Fuck Michigan!), MZone reader DarbyDog sends us this article by someone at the Tosu College of Law about the legal implications of the word "fuck." Naturally, being from Columbus, the professor had a lot of research data to work with.

* Finally, in response to a request for a YouTube clip of the Bucks tearing down Michigan's M Club banner in '73, our friend Andy hooked us up with the clip below. Benny is still trying to grab the Ufer audio so we can add that and even shorten it a bit. But this shows what happened.


Saturday, July 29, 2006

To our readers...

Just a quick note of thanks. You guys (and ladies) have been sending us some great stuff lately and we just wanted to say we really appreciate it.

We hope you get as many laughs from this site as we get from your emails and comments.

Thanks for reading.

The MZone Gang

Separated at Birth?

Ok, we hate to do this to our own QB but, is it just us, or is there a bit of a...resemblance here?

Instead of making Dumb and Dumber jokes, we're going to stay positive and just say it's Lloyd's QB and Lloyd Christmas.

Thanks to MZone reader Lane for the pic.

Jimmy, We're Your Number One Fans

Every now and then there seems to be a topic here at the MZone that just keeps on giving. First there was the Buckstache. Lately, it's been Notre Dame QB recruit Jimmy Clausen.


Yesterday we showed you his...interesting photo gallery. Today we introduce you to the first confirmed meeting of the Jimmy Clausen Fan Club.


Big hat tip to MZone reader Ed for the pic.

UPDATE: Now it all becomes clear. One of our readers left a YouTube link to a video that explains so much about these guys.

Buckeye Offseason Training Video

Petty crime, Buckeyes, this video has it all.

And you just know there's a Buckstache underneath that helmet.



Thanks to MZone reader Marshall for the tip.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Thank Us Later

Nestor over at Bruins Nation got the picture below but, to stay out his lady's doghouse, he didn't post it on his site. So after asking himself, "What morally bankrupt guys would post stuff like this?" he naturally thought of us.

Thus we give to you the Kappa Alpha Thetas from Vanderbilt. Some might consider it NSFW so, if you're worried, wait until no one's around to take a look. But for God's sake, take a look!

PHOTO REMOVED. CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS.

I gotta say, if these are typical of the co-eds at Vanderbilt, my loyalty to Michigan in the opener is in question.

P.S. Click on the picture for a larger view. Now. Do it.

You're welcome.

Jimmy Clausen Photo Album: Wrong on So Many Levels

Jimmy Clausen is adding once again to his Internet photo album...and it ain't good. Let's refresh, shall we?

First there was his emu pic...


Then there was this one where he did his impression of J-Lo showing off her engagement rings...


Now via the USC Scout board, MZone reader James has sent us the following (that's Jimmy on the right)...


Sweet mother of Pearl!

Leave us your thoughts on which of these pics is the worst.

P.S. Next time one of Jimmy's buddies says, "Hey, can I take a picture?" he should just run. Run like he's trying to evade a linebacker with 4.4 speed.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Nebraska Making Same Mistakes

Didn't the Nebraska football program learn anything from the Lawrence Phillips fiasco a few years ago?

Judging from the latest news out of Lincoln, apparently not.

Husker coach Bill "Throat Slash" Callahan is allowing a recruit who was originally charged with sexually abusing two women in a dormitory (before pleading down) to join the Nebraska football team.

DB Major Culbert was sentenced this month in Eugene, Oregon to five years probation and 25 days in jail after pleading guilty to misdemeanor charges of criminal trespass and harassment stemming from his January recruiting trip to the University of Oregon.

And that's good enough for Callahan who said, "The charges against Major in Oregon have been reduced to a misdemeanor, but we take this situation very seriously."

I mean, yeah, if it's just a misdemeanor, by all means, suit him up!

Callahan goes on to say, "We have granted (Culbert) a second chance to be a part of our program, and, accordingly, he will operate under a zero-tolerance policy from this point forward. We believe his willingness to accept these terms reflects positively on his character and commitment to focus on academics and athletics while here at Nebraska."

"Zero tolerance," huh? What complete bullshit. Didn't Culbert already blow that at the dorm in Eugene? So it's not really "zero" tolerance, technically it's more of a "mulligan" tolerance policy.

As for Callahan saying that by accepting the unnamed conditions imposed on Culbert in order to play football, this reflects "positively on (Culbert's) character," give me a fucking break. What was the kid's other choice? Probably not much as I'm guessing hoping the other D1 schools recruiting him backed away.

Now, for those of you who say I'm being too harsh or, as Callahan alluded to, "Doesn't the kid deserve a second chance?" I say no. He deserves a second chance at getting his life in order after serving his sentence but he doesn't deserve to play college football. And he certainly shouldn't be getting that "second chance" at Nebraska which got a huge black eye (to go along with their black shirts) when Phillips played for them. It just sends a message that this sort of behavior is to be tolerated...as long as one is a good enough athlete (with a good enough lawyer to get the charges reduced).

And the irony is, that "second chance" rationalization is the same thing former Husker coach Tom Osborne said about Phillips when he was at the helm.

Which gets me thinking...

I guess the Husker program did indeed learn something from the Lawrence Phillips fiasco -- ignore those itty, bitty off-the-field problems against women if a player can potentially help the team win a National Title. Maybe that's the "second chance" coach Callahan is talking about.

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Net Neutrality Site Mentions MZone, Other CFB Blogs

If you're a reader of this site, you know I've been a big advocate of preserving Net Neutrality. Well, Nestor over at Bruins Nation dropped me a line yesterday to say the MZone, Bruins Nation and some other college football blogs who took a stand on the issue (including EDSBS, DawgSports and DCTrojan) got a nice mention on SaveTheInternet.com (although my support of Net Neutrality - and I'm guessing that of the other bloggers mentioned - is about a heck of a lot more than YouTube clips as the link seemed to imply).

In any event, SaveTheInternet.com is a non-partisan coalition fighting hard to save Net Neutrality from the likes of complete morons like Ted Stevens.

Who is Ted Stevens you ask? Just the Senator from Alaska who is head of the committee that regulates the Internet who has no clue what the hell he's talking about. But don't take my word for it. Let John Stewart explain...

MGoBlog's Brian off to WSOP

Brian, the man behind the always-good MGoBlog, is off to Sin City today to compete in the $10,000 World Series of Poker Main Event. He starts his quest for the millions on Saturday.

In an email yesterday, he said he'd be posting updates on his site as he plays. We'll do the same here as he does.

Good luck, Bri!

The REAL Miami Vice

Guns. Shootouts. Now this is the Miami football team America knows and loves.

Last Friday, back-up Hurricane safety Willie Cooper was shot in the arse outside his house by an unknown person who fled after Cooper's teammate and roommate, Brandon Meriweather returned gunfire.

Luckily, Cooper's wounds were superficial and he was able to work out the next day. And Meriweather, the team's leading tackler last season, wasn't in any trouble as police say he used his gun legally because he has a permit for it.

Yes, somewhere Jimmy Johnson is smiling (about the firing back part, not about the permit bullshit).

But there's always one party pooper. And in this case, it's 'Cane coach Larry Coker who has asked his players to stop packing heat.

What!? No guns in Miami!? Why doesn't Coker just come right out and ban fun? Or Christmas? Or recruiting players with 11 prior arrests?

Yet, apparently Coker is serious because, at the ACC media event Monday, Coker said he preferred his players call 911 and let them handle those sorts of situations.

No word yet if his players will listen or will instead continue to solve things "the Miami way."

P.S. I love that they discussed this at the conference media day! Remember when those events used to be boring affairs about that new linebacker your team was breaking in or who was going to start at QB? Ha! How 1994.

Ohio Public Libraries: Perv Central

What in the hell is going on in Ohio public libraries?

First there was Mike Cooper, now a man has been accused of sucking on a woman's toe at a public library near Youngstown after he asked to kiss her feet to see her reaction as part of a sociology project.

A 27 year old woman said the suspect, Joseph Colella, asked to kiss her feet. She said no but, for reasons we can't fathom, finaly agreed when he kept asking. So, he began kissing her foot and then sucked on a toe. She pulled her foot away and the man asked her reaction, to which she replied she was freaked out.

No shit.

Went seaching for Mr. Colella's pic to see if he was sporting a Buckstache and Tosu shirt at his arraignment. So far, no luck. If any of our readers in the Ohio area see a news story with a photo, please send it our way.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Like to abuse women? Then Nebraska is for you

Didn't the Nebraska football program learn anything from the Lawrence Phillips fiasco a few years ago?

Apparently not.

Like to abuse women? Then Nebraska is for you

Didn't the Nebraska football program learn anything from the Lawrence Phillips fiasco a few years ago?

Apparently not.

Former 'Cock is One

Former South Carolina DE Moe Thompson is suing the school for $300,000 because he claims they ruined his chance with the NFL by preventing him from transferring after he was suspended from the team in 2005.

And why oh why was Mr. Thompson booted from the team? Well...

He and a teammate went into dorm rooms in February 2005 and stole TVs and DVD players belonging to female students. Last October, he pleaded guilty to two counts of attempted first-degree burglary and two counts of petit larceny. He is currently serving five years' probation as a result.

After leaving South Carolina, Thompson tried playing for Grambling State but academic problems kept him from taking the field.

According to the AP, the lawsuit claims a university official withdrew Thompson from classes without the player's consent, causing him to be academically ineligible to play at Grambling.

Riiiiight. It's South Carolina's fault. Then again, maybe it's the fault of the stupid moron who broke into girls' dorm rooms and took their shit.

Just a guess.

Too Funny Not to Post

A motorcycle gang in Australia is auctioning off a day with them, including a visit to the site of a shootout with a rival gang that left six people dead.

Bids start at $1,500 on eBay and the gang has pledged to donate half of the winning bid to the cystic fibrosis unit of The Children's Hospital at Westmead.

Yes, it's true.

Post from Yost: Lloyd vs. History


I don't know exactly when it happened, but college football fans have become as content as a gold digging millionaire's wife when a billionaire widower moves in next door. Bitching about one's team is almost as popular as singing the school fight song. Perpetual disconent is now the norm.

Nowhere is that more true today than Ann Arbor.

To hear Michigan fans on sports radio, read their rants on message boards and peruse most maize and blue blogs, the sky is falling in A2. Under Lloyd Carr, the "popular" belief goes, we are witnessing the "slow, steady decline" of the Michigan football program. Hell, to listen to all the naysayers, one would think last year's 7-5 season was the norm (nevermind that Michigan went to back-to-back Rose Bowls before that).

So let's take a look at Carr and see how he stacks up against Michigan's Big Three former head coaches -- Yost, Crisler and Schembechler.

Why are they the measuring stick? Between the three of them, one of them was head coach for roughly half of the 115 seasons of Michigan football before Lloyd took over the reigns in '95. They combined for 25 conference titles and 7 National Titles. Furthermore, their legacies live on today in Ann Arbor: Michigan's hockey arena is name after Yost, its basketball arena after Crisler while its football building carries the Schembechler name. Thus, these are ghosts, two dead and one living, which will always haunt the present Michigan coach.

So how does Lloyd compare next to coaches so good, buildings were named after them? Well...

Fielding H. Yost (one of my personal favorites as you might have guessed) was Michigan's head coach for 25 years in the first quarter of the 20th century. In that time, he had a winning percentage of .833, the best of any Michigan coach in the last 106 seasons. Pretty damn impressive. And in those 25 years at the helm, Yost won or shared 10 conference titles. Not too shabby, right?

Well, in his 11 seasons, Lloyd Carr has won or shared 5 Big 10 titles.

Yost's conference winning percentage was .778, Carr's is .773.

Fritz Crisler had an overall winning percentage of .805 and a .777 mark in the conference in his 10 seasons as the head coach. In those 10 years, he won or shared two conference crowns with one national title to his credit, same as Lloyd.

In its entire history, Michigan has an overall winning percentage of .744 and a conference mark of .727. Carr is at .750 overall and, as mentioned before, .773 in the Big 10.

Then there's Bo Schembechler who probably casts the longest shadow around the U-M campus. In his 21 seasons at the helm, Bo had an overall winning percentage of .796 and a best-in-the-history-of-Michigan .850 in the conference. He won or shared 13 Big 10 titles. Great stuff.

And while Lloyd's recent September struggles on the road are frustrating, Bo had a few glaring blemishes on his record. Taking nothing away from Schembechler, don't forget that from his first season in 1969 through the 1979 season - his first 11 years as head coach, same as Carr so far - Bo never won the last game of the season. Not once. Zip. Nada. Whether it was one of 5 Rose Bowl defeats, one Orange, one Gator and a couple heartbreakers to the Buckeyes (when only the Big 10 champ got a bowl bid those days), Michigan ended each of those years with a loss (and one tie in'73).

Finally, while Lloyd won it all in '97, Bo, unfortunately, never won a National Title. His best finish was #2 after an 11-1-1 campaign in 1985.

So while last season was terrible and unacceptable to all Michigan fans (I'm sure even Carr would say the same thing, as he basically did with the changes to his staff), taking a bigger look using history as our guide reveals that things aren't as bad as they might seem in many parts of cyberspace.

"And they're tearing down Michigan's coveted M club banner!"

Got an email from L., a Buckeye reader who always sends us great stuff. He sent me a very short clip embedded in email of Ohio State tearing down Michigan's "Go Blue - M Club Supports You" banner in the early '70s at the Big House. It was set to Bob "The Voice of Meeechigan Football" Ufer's call of the "infamous" event (for those of you not familiar with this, Ohio State took the field first before the M/Tosu game and headed straight for and started tearing down the banner that the Wolverines tradionally run under as they come out of the tunnel).

He also sent this picture of the aftermath, as Buckeye players tore at the banner. Check out #90 in the photo. Uh, just what exactly is he trying to do? Even #46 next to him seems to be saying, "Dude, I hate Michigan and all, but that shit ain't right."


Almost was going to make this an MZone Caption Contest. My "starter" caption was...

"Fuck Michigan...'s banner!"

As for the clip of them tearing down the banner itself, due to format issues couldn't put it up here. Checked YouTube and they don't have it on there. So, loyal M readers, anybody have that or know where we can get it? Andy?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

SC Runs Wedgie Drill

Nestor over at Bruins Nation put up their first caption contest with this dandy over the weekend while I was out of town.

As you can see from the picture, it shows Trojan football players...uh...well...umm...frolicking.


When asked to explain, SC QB Mark Sanchez had no comment.

Professional Poker Players Not Bluffing in Lawsuit

Seven top poker players have sued the WPT - World Poker Tour - saying it stifles competition by forcing them to hand over rights to televise their faces for free.

I know in the past players have been pissed because they couldn't wear hats or shirts with logos promoting their poker sites or that of their sponsors. This seems to be the next step in that battle.

(HT: Wizard of Odds)

United Sucks

Just walked in the door after spending most of the *&^% day at the *&^% airport! God, flying sucks ass now.

Anyhow, it's late and I'm dead-tired so I'm hitting the hay. Benny took a little time out from his vacation and put up a couple "Best of" posts below.

Back to our regularly scheduled blog tomorrow.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Best of the MZone - the Beginning

While Yost makes his way back from a friend's wedding - Yost, how many times do I have to tell you, it's never a good idea to hook up with the bride's stepmom - and I steal away a couple of minutes on the Web during my vacation, we thought it'd be a fun idea to post a couple of "Best of the MZone" topics.

We started this blog as a few friends who wanted to post about Michigan football. For years we'd e-mailed each other about the topic, but Yost thought a blog was a better forum. For the first couple of months we kept it strictly on Michigan football. But then we made our first major post about a different college football topic - the pictures of Matt Leinart after the Heisman Trophy presentation. This was one of the first posts that wasn't full of analysis, one of the first not about Michigan, hell, one of the first to include pictures.

And what great pictures. They showed a seemingly drunk Leinart hitting on a hot brunette, while her friend glared in the background.

You have to read Yost's description of the "Anti-Wingman." It was at that point that I knew we had something going on with this blog and others seemed to agree. It was the first post that garnered some attention across the Web and the first time our site meter cracked triple digits in a day. For us, it was really the post that launched the MZone.

Best of the MZone - the Follow-Up

As our regular readers have noticed, we're not afraid to beat a topic to death here on the MZone. Particularly if we feel there's even a drop to be wrung from the comedy rag. And the Matt Leinart pictures were no exception. A little more than a couple of weeks after originally posting about the Leinart pix, we posted about them again. But this time we actually incorporated something about the game on the field, if only indirectly.

After his incredible Rose Bowl performance in the 2006 Rose Bowl Vince Young was everywhere. He was like Forrest Gump, but more so. He could even run better than Forrest. So when Yost applied Vince's omnipresence to the Leinart pictures, hilarity ensued.

Or maybe the hilarity was Yost's horrendous photo editing skills. Since then I have forbid him from from trying again and have informed Adobe never to allow him to register Photoshop.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Thank Blog it's Friday

Light blogging today. I'm off to a wedding this weekend and Benny is heading on vacation until the middle of next week (which means the Photoshop portion of our show will be significantly curtailed).

Don't forget to email your "Ask Yost" questions and we'll be back on Monday.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Maybe They Could Split The Ticket

Former Nebraska football coach Tom Osborne won't be eligible as a write-in candidate in Nebraska's November gubernatorial election. Osborne, who was against the write-in campaign, lost in the Republican primary in May. Nebraska law prohibits a loser of a primary to be a write-in candidate, and the state Supreme Court upheld that law when challenged by Osborne supporters.

Unlike Coaches' Poll voters, justices were not swayed by former Cornhusker QB Scott Frost's teary-eyed complaining before the bench.

And in a friend of the (food) court brief, Phil Fulmer wrote, "Coach Osborne is such a great guy, he deserves this post, even if it defies logic. If I could, I'd cast all nine votes in his favor."

Another Reason Why College Football Is The Best Sport

We send you off for the weekend with a clip of the worst singing in the history of...history. The YouTube title is "Worst Singing Ever, In a Stadium Setting." But it's really the worst singing ever. Period.

This is a group or contestants from the Dutch version of American Idol singing at a soccer game. You be the judge of whether you'd rather hear these guys or a marching band. Enjoy.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Old Fossil Found in Michigan

Road crews working in Oakland County earlier this month unearthed the remains of a mastadon, an elephant like creature that became extinct shortly after humans arrived on the scene in the Great Lakes region 10,000 to 12,000 years ago.



But that wasn't the amazing part as the remains of 250 mastadons have been discovered in Michigan. What caught everybody by surprise was the other old relic (circled in the picture above) found at the dig site (see below). Carbon dating puts this find at 17,000 to 25,000 years old.


Michigan & Texas: Two Peas in a Pod?


Peter over at Burnt Orange Nation takes a look at Lloyd Carr and the popular Internet-fueled perception that he is a coach that doesn't get as much out of talent as he should. He does this by comparing Carr to UT's own Mack Brown who was also thought of as someone wasting good talent in Austin...until about a year and a half ago. Now it's impossible to find someone wearing orange who will admit to ever not being a fan of Brown.

Good article, worth the read.

Duke QB Suspended Due to Plagarism


Duke QB Zack Asack was suspended for the upcoming season for plagarism, the school said Wednesday.

No word yet if Auburn will offer him scholarship where he would be considered an Academic All-American.

Ask Yost

Last week, we put up a post "commenting" on that fact that Jenn Sterger has a column on SI.com in which - allegedly - actual human beings write in to her for advice. And I got to thinking, if she can dole out advice, why not your humble blogger here?

I mean, first of all, our personal stories are so similar it's almost scary. Jenn got her start as an Internet sensation when, on her way to a 'Noles/Miami game last season, somebody spilled beer on her and the poor girl had nothing to wear but a bikini to Doak Campbell Stadium. When she was shown on TV at the game, the picture got passed all over and - voila! - Jenn Sterger went from unlucky girl with a dry cleaning bill to Jenn Sterger - FSU Cowgirl.

Me, I got my start in the public eye when I was heading over to Benny's tailgate party to talk about starting a college football blog last fall. As luck would have it, on my way there, after stopping for my daily 40 ouncer at the local liquor store, I spilled the damn thing all over myself trying to use my cellphone while pulling in to park on the U-M golf course across from Michigan Stadium.

Having nothing but my undies to wear, I simply wore them to the Big House (where, for some reason, I am still banned to this day). Afterwards, some hotty took the picture shown here which has become sort of an Internet sensation in its own right.

Thus, with those similar backgrounds in mind, today officially marks the beginning of an occasional series here at the MZone called "Ask Yost." Email me (instead of using comments section) with your questions on college football, dating, whatever, and I'll put up a few of the Q&As soon.

Just think, if this goes well, I could -- fingers crossed! -- become the next Jenn Sterger.

West Virginia for the National Title? Not so fast

According to many pre-season pubs and college football web sites, the West Virginia Mountaineers are a popular "dark horse" pick to win the National Title this year. They're the clear favorite in the Big East and are ranked anywhere from #2-#10 by the "Summer Experts" thus far.

Due to that fact coupled with their Sugar Bowl win in January and the knee-jerk (over)reaction by many on the Internet when one's team is criticized (even if points are valid), this is one of those posts that I know is going to piss off fans of the Mountaineers. But I'm not writing it to poke the team in the eye, I'm merely giving my honest opinion. So let me start by saying I like West Virginia. I have family that went to West Virginia. Some of my relatives still live in West Virginia. But, West Virginia, you're no national title contender.

Period. Even if you go undefeated.

Look, it's not really your fault. It's your schedule.

Your non-con schedule consists of Marshall (losing record last year), East Washington (winning record...in Division 1-AA) and Maryland (losing record) before you get into the Big East where the only team with a pulse (and a ranking last season) is Louisville. It's a schedule that would give Bill Snyder a hard on.

I know, it's not your fault the Big East crumbled around you. But without a playoff system in college football, the regular season record - along with its strength - is the measuring stick we have.

Both. Together. Not just the "0" in "L" column.

Yet for some unknown reason, fans always think - and pollsters vote - as if the record trumps all. Like there is some law that simply being "undefeated = national title" contender. If that were the case, there are a hell of a lot of high school and D-III teams that should have a shot at Tempe next January.

Harsh? Yes, but the truth sometimes is. Don't kill the messenger.

As I mentioned, I like West Virginia. Really do. And I hope they go undefeated. But even if that happens, it doesn't mean they should be considered for the National Title.

And don't blame me. Blame the schedule.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Take a Nightmare Stroll Down Memory Lane

Thanks, ESPN Classic. First you give us Michigan alumni the Sklar Brothers, and now you decide to show one of the worst moments in Wolverine football history. Yes, this afternoon at 2 pm (EDT), ESPN Classic is showing the 1994 Michigan-Colorado game. You know, the one where Kordell Stewart and Michael Westbrook used all of the clutch play ability they'd ever have on one play.

If you happen to catch the game, notice how the Michigan offense went into a shell with a big lead, how Garry Moeller completely lost control of the game, and how a lucid Keith Jackson's voice showed shock as the Hail Mary play was unfolding by exclaiming, "He's got three people down there..."

Let's hope our TiVos record Days of Our Lives instead.

Now a word from our sponsors...

Read recently that the Independence Bowl, which has been without a sponsor for the last two years, is allegedly close to landing one. Gee, I don't know why it's taking so long. I mean, who wouldn't want their corporate name associated with a December 28th bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana pitting the the Big XII 5, 6 or 7 team versus the SEC #7 squad (or any Pop Warner team with a pulse).

For years, I must admit I actually felt sorry for the teams playing in the Independence Bowl when it was the Poulan/Weedeater Independence Bowl. That was the most god-awful sponsorship affiliation in a proud history of crappy tie-ins when it comes to post-season college football games. Poulan/Weedeater? What was that team meeting like when the bid went out?

COACH: "This is why we play the game, fellas -- You sweat your balls off all August during two-a-days. You just got our jock handed to you by Nebraska, 48-10. We ended up 7th in a 12 team conference to finish a just-above-Shitsville 6-5. Pack your bags, gentlemen...we're off to Shreveport!"

The good news for the Independence Bowl is, no matter who they end up with, they really can't do any worse this time (because Chick-Fil-A is already taken). And since the bowls obviously don't care who the sponsor is as long as the check clears, we here at the MZone sat down and came up with some bowls and the sponsors they should have. In the interest of truth in advertising. Thus, here is a partial list of the 2006-2007 bowl season as it should be...

THE HOLIDAY BOWL

Lately, there is always one team thrilled to be in San Diego matched against another team that just got fucked out of playing in one of the BCS games (yes, we're talking to you, Oregon and Cal). During the lead up to the game, seems there is less talk about the actual Holiday Bowl than bitching about the game one team got screwed out of. That's why Pacific Life needs to bow out allowing a more appropriate sponsor to take over...


THE CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL

This bowl, now in Orlando, Florida, has had seven - yes, 7! - different names during its 16 years of existence: the Blockbuster Bowl, the Carquest Bowl, the Micron PC Bowl, the MicronPC.com Bowl, the Visit Florida Tangerine Bowl, the Mazda Tangerine Bowl before landing where we are today. Thus, with such a history of changing its name, who better to sponsor this classic than the former Puff Daddy, the no longer P.Diddy, the we-think-now-just Diddy, Sean Combs in the...

THE COTTON BOWL

Remember when this bowl used to actually mean something? You'd sit there on January 1st and think to yourself, "Damn, sure sucks that those two teams had to play in the only New Year's Day bowl where you're freezing your ass off." But since the advent of the BCS, this poor bowl got left behind for shinier, newer models.

The Cotton now reminds me of that bike I had when I was growing up but no self-respecting kid would be caught dead on today. That's why we give you...

THE MOTOR CITY BOWL

Hey, just because this bowl takes place in our ol' homestate doesn't mean we don't know what the perception of it is out there in the college football universe. Detroit? In December? This isn't a reward, it's punishment. Something teams dread and would get out of if they could. The bowl equivalent of taxes, jury duty and telling your girlfriend those pants don't make her look fat. That's why the showdown in Motown should be the...

THE ORANGE BOWL

Currently, this BCS bowl is sponsored by FedEx which is a complete load of crap. FedEx connotates quick. Fast. Speedy. But have you ever tried to sit through the halftime show of this bowl? Sweet Mother of Pearl! It takes forevvvvver. The game itself doesn't last this long! That's why we propose a change that still keeps the whole "mail theme"...

Finally, we turn our attention back to...

THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL

You're 6-5, you'd rather be home but instead you're stuck in Shreveport playing a team that wants to be there less than you in front of fans who probably only showed up because they were giving the tickets away free at the local Hooters on Nacho Tuesday. Talk about depressing. That's why we present a potential sponsor that's very appropriate for this dandy...


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

What a Crock of Shit

The U.S. is fighting a terrorism war on two fronts, gas could be headed for $4 a gallon, Mike Cooper is a free man but saw on The Wizard of Odds that federal authorities have instead decided to make the world a safer place by arresting CEO of BetOnSports.com, an Internet gambling site.

As I alluded to in my title, what a crock of shit. Are we really wasting federal resources on this sort of thing?!

Thanks to the The Wiz for the tip!

Quick Hitters

Some of our recent faves from around the college football blogosphere...

-- We always respect it when bloggers are willing to make fun of their own team. While Tosu fans are quick to point out all the laughs we have at the expense of the Bucks here on the MZone, it seems they always overlook just how many times we poke a little fun at our beloved, recently-defensively-challenged Wolverines.

With that in mind, Nestor over at BruinsNation put up a clip the other day of some "wild and crazy" Bruin tailgate "bashes" -- all to the rockin' beat of Semisonic's CLOSING TIME. Folks, it ain't pretty.

-- In the wake of Auburn's recent academic problems exposed in the NYT, Paul over at Georgia Sports Blog put up a funny little ditty, The Day the Mooooosic Died (to be sung to American Pie).

-- Sunday Morning QB takes an in-depth look at Michigan's chances for the upcoming campaign.

-- Got a nice email from BadgerSportsFan, a new blog covering all things Wisconsin. Good luck with the new site.

-- Finally, Deadspin put up a post about the Sklar brothers, asking in a poll whether folks think these U-M alums are funny or not

On the Soapbox...

BK sent us an email that perfectly illustrates another reason why big telecos can't be trusted to preserve net neutrality. The link here shows how from 1983 to 2004, the number of corporations that control a majority of U.S. media has dropped from 50...to 5.

Where again is all this "competition" going to come from if net neutrality isn't required by law?

Carl Monday: Journalism More Dangerous Than Being a War Correspondent

So if you've been following the Mike Cooper "affair" - the young Buck fan busted for masterbating in an Ohio public library due to an undercover news story, saw on Deadspin (thanks to reader DevilGrad) that things got even crazier at his sentencing last week.

Carl Monday, the reporter who outed him (after he already outed himself, so to speak), was there and approached Cooper and his family after they left the courthouse. And, well, things...things got a bit heated as the video here shows.

Folks, they should start putting these Monday/Cooper Family confrontations on PPV.

MZone Caption Contest


Time for another MZone caption contest. Here's what we came up with...

Even after shaving his Buckstache, Doug proved he still had a thing for body hair.

Leave us your best in the comments section.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Don't Crappy Bowls Know Their Place?

The GMAC Bowl, that highly anticipated clash between teams from the MAC and Conference USA or the WAC, is moving from its usual pre-Christmas date to the night before the BCS title game.

Gary Richter, the assistant commissioner for media relations for the MAC feels this is a step toward bigger things for the bowl. "I think it's a really good move for a number of reasons,' he said. "First, it moves you away from the December schedule and it gives fans more time to plan a trip down to Mobile."

Uh...not likely.

Richter added, "Also, it may be better for the student-athlete because the last couple of years, the game was played during finals week for our schools."

Who is he kidding? You know that didn't even cross anybody's mind when the change was made. It's about money and a higher profile for the game. But nice try.

Finally, Richter proves he's about as in touch with reality as Nick Nolte on a weekend bender by stating, "It's a great lead-in game for the BCS championship."

Strike three, Gar.

As I've said before, I'm not a fan of a playoff, but I was always a fan of the old, pre-BCS bowl system. Used to love getting all the crappy, throw-a-bone-to-a-team bowls out of the way by the 31st so that January 1st was reserved for the Big Games. Now the bowl system is just a mess. Because rather than add prestige to the GMAC Bowl, this just further diminishes the other January 1st bowls.

Sad, sad, sad.

Too Cool Not To Post

MZone reader Frias sent us a link to Andrew Sullivan's blog that has one of the most incredible YouTube clips we've come across.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Classes? We don't need no stinkin' classes!

Looks like Auburn might have to rename itself "Independent Study U." after the NY Times revealed that 18 members of the 2004 Tiger team - that finished undefeated and #2 in the country - took a combined 97 hours of "courses" from the same sociology professor who isn't real picky on students actually showing up for class. More than a quarter of the students in this guy's class were athletes.

Yes, "independent study" means not going to class but, according to the NYT, the classes in question include core subjects like statistics, theory and methods, which normally require class instruction.

Former Auburn RB "Cadillac" Williams took only two clases the spring of his senior year, both one-on-one courses with Petee. One was a statistics class. When Petee was asked if that course, considered the most difficult in the sociology major, was available to regular students as a directed reading, the professor said, “No, not usually.”

Cadillac described the class this way: “You’re just studying different kinds of math. It’s one of those things where you write a report about the different theories and things like that.”

Yes, things like that. Sound like your stats class?

Cadillac went on to say in the Times story that he appreciated the convenience of the two courses, because he was traveling around the country auditioning for N.F.L. teams at the time. Naturally.

When he found out Petee was being investigated, Caddy said, "I didn’t do nothing illegal or anything like that. My work was good. It was definitely real work. To be honest with you, if they think that’s a problem, they need to investigate all the teachers at Auburn."

Gee, no wonder in the NCAA's new rankings of student athletes' academic progress, Auburn had the highest ranking of any D-1 public university among college football's six major conference.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Put it this way, Vandy, the only private school in the SEC had a graduation rate of 88%, Auburn's was 48% yet, according to the NY Times story, Vandy finished well behind Auburn in those NCAA rankings.



Thanks to MZone reader "BamaPerry" for the tip.

UPDATE: For more on the story, check out Orson's post over at EDSBS.

Knew it was bad, didn't know it was THAT bad

Saw a stat on iBlog for Cookies (via MGoBlog) that is truly a frightening example of just how far Michigan's defense has fallen of late:

From 1995 to 1999, if Michigan was going into the 4th quarter with a lead of less than 10 points, U-M was 13-1 (93%).

From 2000-2005, with that same single digit lead, they were 8-10 (44%)!

As Vijay at iBlog points out, "That's right ... in the last 6 years, we are more likely to lose a game than to win it if we go into the 4th quarter with a small lead."

Oh...my...god.

Check out his post. Great work, Vijay.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Net Neutrality Crunch Time (aka Why Ted Stevens is a Moron)

As has been posted a number of times over the last month or so, the issue of Net Neutrality is winding its way through Congress. The House has failed to save it and now the Senate is getting ready to vote. Again, this is an important issue if you like your college football on the Internet brought to by sites like Deadspin, EDSBS, MGoBlog, BruinsNation, DawgSports and yours truly instead of by deep-pocketed MSM companies.

And just what are the intelligent arguments of those in Congress opposing Net Neutrality? Well, leading the opposition in the Senate is Ted Stevens of Alaska. Nestor over at Bruins Nation had posted this YouTube clip from The Daily Show that explains what we're up against better than we ever could.




As you continue to shake your head that a man such as Ted Stevens has so much say over the future of the Interent, below is an email I received the other day from SaveTheInternet.com. They have a handy-dandy hyperlink so that you can see where your own Senators stand on the issue. I urge you to contact your Senator(s) if you haven't already done so.

Finally, as has been mentioned many times, this is NOT a partisan issue. When MoveOn.org and the Christian Coalition of America are on the same side, that says it all.

Dear SavetheInternet.com blogger,

Net neutrality supporters are gearing up against a Senate vote on Sen. Ted "The Internet is a Series of Tubes" Stevens' telecommunications bill (S 2686). This bad bill fails to protect Net Neutrality. To preserve Internet freedom, we need to be sure that this bill gets overhauled or stopped in its tracks.

Today, we launched a Senate map that makes it ridiculously easy to a) figure out where your Senators stand, and b) urge them to take a public stance in support of Internet freedom. The goal is to get as many senators on the record as possible before any vote on the Senate floor. You (and your readers) can help the cause by checking out the map and flooding the Senate with calls.

July is a pivotal month. The Senate leadership won't schedule a vote on Stevens' bad bill unless 60 senators say they'll vote for it. Now's the time to call senators and tell them to support Net Neutrality instead -- and to oppose last-ditch industry efforts to push through a bill that more and more Americans are turning against.

We're not the only ones who've been busy; there's lots of creative work being produced in support of Net Neutrality. Check out this techno remix of Sen. Stevens' recent speech, a slew of new clips on the SavetheInternet.com videos page and other artistic output at the SavetheInternet.com blog.

We need more creativity like this to call attention to what the telcos are trying to get away with -- but eventually it all boils down to what the Senate does. So don't forget to check out the map, call your Senators, and encourage your friends/readers to do the same.

With your help, we can match the millions of dollars spent by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth with millions of citizens speaking up for Internet freedom.

Tim Karr
SavetheInternet.com


Why We Miss College

In response to our "Girls of Tosu" calendar posting, a few MZone readers sent us links to other collegiate co-ed calendars. We like.

First there was the "Girls of Happy Valley" calendar...


Our favorite part of the site (besides the pictures, of course) was the really bad porno music playing the whole time (as opposed to really good porno music?). Using the "Fingernail Test," I'm going to go out on a limb and say most of these girls aren't PSU students. Them there is stripper-length fingernails (I'm just saying). No wonder they call it Happy Endings Valley!

On the more wholesome end of the calendar scale was the Pi Kappa Alpha (Pike) of Ole Miss entry brought to our attention by MZone reader Erik...

God, I love the south. And note the fingernails, people.

Me thinks the BCS brackets are now complete.

Finally, speaking of our Girls of TOSU post, Peter at Burnt Orange Nation emailed the pic below asking how the hell we could have missed one of the girls posing with a cop! Our bad, Peter. Our bad.

Best of all, look closely at the what jurisdiction in Ohio a cop posing with scantily clad women is from: Put-in-Bay ("You said 'put in.'"Insert Beavis and Butthead laugher.)

Buckeye Memories

Our MZone reader MVP award goes to Andy in Austin, Texas. Recently we asked for a clip of Woody's infamous last game in '78. While it was included in a few compilations, we didn't have a stand-alone clip of it nor was it on YouTube.

Until Andy.

So folks, sit back, relax and take a walk down memory lane. We especially like the soundtrack.

Oh, and make sure to email this post to a Buckeye friend or two (or 30). They'll love you for it. Really. And to our Scarlet and Gray visitors, welcome and enjoy.


Thursday, July 13, 2006

Dear Sterger?

Got some pressing life issues? I mean the tough stuff that you can't just bore a friend with on the phone for two hours? Well, forget Anthony Robbins, have Oprah go read a book and tell Dr. Phil to blow himself. America has found its next Dear Abby and her name is Jenn Sterger.

Reading EDSBS the other day, I saw a post about Jenn Sterger's Q&A column on SI.com. Apparently, people from across America email Sterger, a girl who's in that uniquely American Paris Hilton-esque category of being famous for being famous, to ask her advice on a variety of matters.

Makes perfect sense. I mean, obviously a girl who entered the public consciousness because she wore a bikini to a 'Noles game because somebody allegedly spilled beer on her and, allegedly, that's all she had to wear, knows a thing or two about everything from sports to fashion to relationships.

But do actual human beings really email Jenn Sterger to answer life's mysteries for them? Well...

Somebody named "Tyler Boyle" of Mesa, Arizona wrote, "Do girls really care how much a guy can bench?"

Dude. Dude, dude, dude.

Listen, "Tyler," if you really felt that the need to ask this question was so great that you logged onto your mom's work computer and sought out the answer from a Playboy's Top Ten Party Schools model, a) the two plates on your Olympic bar are 25 pounds or less and, more importantly b) you probably don't have to worry about dating much anyway so why bother?

Seriously, dude. Get ahold of yourself.

Now, you'll notice that I put "Tyler's" name in quotes above. That's because I still don't believe these emails are written by real people just trying to get a little life clarity from Jenn Sterger. In fact, I called directory assistance while writing this to see if I could track down a number for a "Tyler Boyle" of Mesa, Arizona. I wanted to ask him if he really wrote this or some college buddy was playing a joke on him. Like taking the "Free Dianetics Personality Test" under the name of the fucker who stole your girlfriend then wondering if he ever was able to get off the Scientology mailing list.

Unfortunately, 411 had no number for a "Tyler Boyle" in Mesa. That obviously doesn't mean he doesn't live and exist there. I mean, if "Tyler" is real and actually wrote the email to Jenn, I'm guessing he still lives with his parents and thus the phone isn't listed in his name. But it does make me wonder about "Tyler Boyle."

The other "reader question" that had me shaking my head was from "Daniel" in Huntington Beach, California, who - for reasons that will become clear by his question - didn't use "his" last time. Ol' Danny boy writes: "I'm 43 years old, in good shape, and have been dating a woman who is 26. We are not communicating in areas besides sports. We met at the gym and both like sports (USC, Lakers, Angels). How would you suggest we bridge the age gap?"

See, right there, due to the very question itself, I have doubts about the veracity of "Daniel's" email, too. Because if "Daniel" is an actual 43 year old guy dating a 26 year old girl he met at a gym in Southern California, in an upscale area such as Huntington Beach, he doesn't need advice on the subject from Jenn Sterger. He's either some shallow, rich guy who drives a Porsche and thus doesn't give a rat's cornhole how the communication is going with little Miss 26 as long as the sex is good, or, he is indeed a confident, well-adjusted guy witty, charming and good-looking enough to score a 26 year old at a SoCal gym and, as such, doesn't sit around writing emails to folks like Jenn Sterger to figure out how to keep it going.

But, on the off chance, this was a real letter written by "Daniel," enjoy the moment, pal. Because trust me when I say you're not secure enough to be dating this girl for long. And I'd bet my last dollar she's going to be leaving soon, sooner if she finds out you wrote in to some chick on SI.com for advice on dating her.

Hmm. Just had a thought.

As I wrote my answers to "Tyler" and "Daniel," I'm beginning to realize how simple it is for any moron to give advice. This shit is easy. And since I'm sure Jenn can't answer all the hundreds and hundreds of emails she gets from across America, maybe I could help. "Ask Yost?" Not a bad idea.

P.S. Do any of our readers in the Mesa are happen to know "Tyler Boyle" or "Daniel" from Huntington Beach? Really interested to know if they're real.

And don't say, "How would I know 'Daniel' when he doesn't give a last name?" Trust me, if he's a 43 year old dating a 26 year old, you'll know him. He'd make sure of that.

Welcome to a new Penn State site

Got a nice email from the guys running a new Penn State blog, The Nittany Line.

They put up a good piece yesterday about Penn State's rivalry situation since joining the Big 10 and how they sort of got "stuck" with Michigan State as their biggie.

Welcome to the blogosphere and watch out for Buckeyes bearing F-bombs.

MZone Follow-Up: Brian Cushing

Recently we put up a post about the less than, uh, stellar physique of USC linebacker Brian Cushing.

Well, saw via Deadspin this post on FlashWarner that asks what happened to Cushing with pictures that leave one to speculate a variety of answers.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Open Letter to Rep. Goodlatte and Rep. Hastert

Dear Honorable Goodlatte and Honorable Hastert,

Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. Thank you both for helping pass the bill Mr. Goodlatte sponsored in the House of Representatives yesterday banning online gambling. Now I can lead a pure life of wholesome American values (which I assume was the intent when you included the bill in the Republican American Values Agenda last month, Mr. Hastert. Well done, sir. Well done).

Without your help in looking out for my personal well-being, I would be lost. Sure, some might call you hypocrites for carving out exemptions in the bill for state-run lotteries and horse racing which have powerful lobbyists in Washington but I'm sure they're just a bunch of liberal, faggot-loving, marriage-hating, abortion-wanting, stem cell-cloning, assault-rifle-banning, un-American nut-jobs bent on causing the destruction of our great country. Because if you say Internet sports wagering and online poker are "bad" gambling, but online horse racing and state-run lotteries are "good" gambling, who am I, a mere citizen, to question such altruistic wisdom?

And thank God (yours, naturally) you were able to overcome the previous defeat of a similar bill in 2000 which was opposed by disgraced misunderstood lobbyist Jack Abramoff and his clients. As supporters of this latest bill so rightfully pointed out, a vote for the just-passed measure was a way to make a statement against Abramoff's influence (as opposed to saying no to his campaign dollars before he was busted).

Best of all, I must say bills such as this are going to be winning over some folks to your party. I mean, take me for example. I'm neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I'm a non-partisan voter who has supported candidates on both sides of the aisle over the years. Your average American who votes issues, not ideology. But by passing such legislation as this and now knowing folks such as you are sincerely looking out for my well-being (as opposed to that "other" party which - *snicker* - thinks I know what's best for me), I'll obviously be much more inclined to vote Republican in the future.

I can only pray (naturally) that Arizona Republican John Kyl of Arizona will keep his word and pursue this matter "aggressively" in the Senate where those pansies have not made this values-oriented bill a top priority.

Keep up the good work, gentlemen. And again, thank you. Because as Bill O'Reilly asked in the title of one of his best-selling books, "Who's Looking Out for You?", I now know the answer: Bob Goodlatte and Dennis Hastert, that's who.

Sincerely,

Yost

Google Comes to A2

U-M has just been Googled. The search engine company is opening a facility in Ann Arbor and plans to employ 1,000 people within five years to handle advertising for the Internet giant. While most see this as a boost to Michigan's sagging economy, MZone reader Chris C. isn't so sure, sending us the picture below and asking, "Is this the possible future?"


I would be in favor of this if it helps Michigan search for a defense that could make a stop in the fourth quarter. Last year such a Google search would have probably returned something like this...




Is Garfield a Buckeye?

The comic strip below has now been sent to us twice, with both senders swearing it hasn't been edited or Photoshopped (we of all people know to be leery about that!).


If the creator of the strip is a Tosu grad, then we're just surprised Garfield's thought bubble didn't say, "Fuck Michigan."'

Thanks to LM and a reader-to-be-named-later (since we can't remember who sent it the first time but you know who you are).

Worst End to a Storied Career: Woody vs. Zidane

MZone reader Kyle sent us the following e-mail on Monday:

Watching the world cup game yesterday, I thought that the best comparison of a legendary sports figure going out so disgracefully would be TOSU's Woody Hayes decking the Clemson player in what would be his final game.
For those who haven't seen it, French soccer star Zinedine Zidane's head butt from Sunday's World Cup championship is below:



As for a video of the Woody punch against Clemson linebacker Charlie Bauman...well, we have scoured this here Interweb and have found only a 65 pixel by 65 pixel picture from an si.com ranking of the 15 biggest blowups in sports history (Woody's act of sportsmanship ranked #5). So now we know for sure that Al Gore didn't invent the Internet. It had to have been a Buckeye, and I'm sure he's working hard at keeping the disparaging video off the information superhighway.

As for the comparison between Zidane and Woody, there are, undoubtedly, some similarities. Both men are historical figures in their respective sports and both went out in very ignominious fashion. However, when weighing the two against each other, Woody comes up at least three yards and a cloud of dust short.

  • Though Zidane's head butt was unforgiveable, it at least occurred on the field of play. Woody took his cheap shot from the sideline against a player who had no reason to expect such an action from a coach.
  • Zidane's record of sportsmanship was never an issue before the '06 championship game. He's considered one of the greatest players in World Cup history and is a hero in France. No one was really surprised that Woody stepped so far over the line in that Gator Bowl game. His career was pockmarked by numerous cases of poor sportsmanship, whether tearing up yard markers or kicking a cameraman during a game. He was an irascible, angry, immature, sore loser.
  • Zidane announced before the World Cup that this would be his swan song. France's last game could have been in the first round and he would have exited with dignity. But due to his fantastic play, France made a surprising run to the title game. He was so great that he was awarded the Golden Ball (I'm not making that up) as the tournament's outstanding player, despite not being on the winning team. Hayes was completing his fourth straight season with an increase in losses in 1978, and was tarnishing his record with every additional temper tantrum.
  • But the biggest difference of all can be heard on the YouTube clip above. My four years of high school French is a bit rusty, but I can make out the French announcer crying, "Mais pourquoi?" over and over. English translation: "But why?" Though this was their biggest athletic hero making a huge blunder, the French announcer was acknowledging the gaffe and not making excuses. How do the Tosu fans treat Woody's punch? As if it was no big deal, or, more likely, with a litany of excuses 100 yards long. They'll say how his blood sugar was out of whack that night. Or that he didn't really punch Bauman. After they finally accept it, they'll dismiss the punch as one minor blip in a stellar career, forgetting the near annual blowups. They'll point to how he was such a "great person" visiting kids in the hospital without telling anyone. How they know about those visits if Woody didn't tell anyone is beyond me. Besides a great person doesn't treat officials, the media, and, yes, opponents, as less than human. When they have nothing left, they'll point to his winning record and championships. Because, really, all they really want to remember about Woody is what he accomplished on the sideline. Unfortunately for Tosu fans, they also have to live with what he did on the sideline in Jacksonville on December 29, 1978. Because that sums up the man more than his wins and losses.

Ed. Note: Ok, even I have to admit that Benny's post here was biased...even for a Michigan site. I'm no defender of Woody but I notice that he left off a few key facts about Zidane that simply can't be overlooked for such a story as this.

First of all, Zidane's record of "sportsmanship" is abysmal. To quote an AP story I found on Yahoo today, "Zidane's red card was anything but unusual. He was sent off 14 times in his career at the club and international level. At the 1998 World Cup, he stomped on a Saudi Arabian opponent. Sitting out a two-match ban, he came back to score two goals against Brazil in the final. Five years ago with Juventus, he head-butted an opponent in a Champions League match against Hamburger SV after being tackled from behind."

Also, at this year's World Cup, Zidane sat out one match for getting two yellow cards in the first round.

Furthermore, fans in France are making excuses for his inexcusable action: the Paris-based anti-racism advocacy group SOS-Racism issued a statement Monday quoting "several very well informed sources from the world of football" as saying (the player Zidane head-butted) called Zidane a "dirty terrorist." And none other than French President Jacque Chirac called him "a genius of world football" in the aftermath.

Now, I could have corrected these errors and omissions, and rewritten this post. But it's very late at night and I'm tired, so instead I'll leave this up as is. Thus, feel free to publicly flog Benny in the comments section. And while you're at it, give us your thoughts on Woody vs. Zidane.

More importantly, does anybody out there have the Woody/Bauman clip or know where we can find it? It would be mucho appreciated.

Yost

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Girls of Tosu

To make up for Benny's Jayson Blair-esque reporting bias against the Buckeyes above, I give you some pix from the upcoming Girls of OSU calendar which is causing controversy in Columbus even before it comes out.



For extra laughs, make sure to check out the local news story on the subject. I especially love how the reporter even calls it "THE Ohio State University." Gee, they all drink the Kool-Aid down there. (Note: this clip is from Carl Monday's station, so you know it's good, hard hitting, important journalism. Also, just see if you can guess which student they interview at the end of the story is opposed to the calendar and thinks it's "degrading to women." Go ahead. Take a wild stab in the dark. If you guessed the overweight, unattractive girl, you win!)

All kidding aside, can you say Blog Co-ed Showdown competitors? Anybody have a link to the calendar or to a MySpace page for any of the models in order to draw up our "Tale of the Tape" for the next BCS contest?

And if the calendar is indeed banned by Tosu (like it seems it's going to be according to the video), in the interest of promoting positive M/Tosu ties, if you know these girls, please inform them we'll be happy to put up their pictures here on our site as the Girls of the MZone.

That's what we do, people, we give.

Thanks to MZone reader Zach for the tip.