In a minute!

A German housewife was so frustrated with her husband watching pornography, she made an "emergency" call to police for help. When the police arrived, they told the woman there was nothing they could do. "Nothing will move him," the woman tearfully explained. "Not even if I offer him the real thing."

My wife has the same problem as the German woman. No, not that she can't get me to stop watching porn (I wish), but each Saturday in the fall, I'm completely non-respondent during Michigan games. However, at least when I do watch porn, my two-minute drill is better than Michigan's.

Thank you, goodnight! I'll be here all week. Try the veal and enjoy Mr. Anka.